i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
