and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
