After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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