if i can run in heels then i can drive
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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