pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
