We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
