i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
