Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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