Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
