Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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