Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
