Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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