im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
