Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love you. Go after that dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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