yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
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I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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