I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
