I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
