Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
