dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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