I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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