but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They have beer where we have blood.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
