Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
