Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize