Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
