i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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