i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
