Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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