I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
