We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
