What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
