I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
