Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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