Betty ford says i'm here all night
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
