The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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