Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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