I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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