There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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