i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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