He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
