He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
its liver damage thursday
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
