i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
