I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
