I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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