We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
