What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
