No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
