You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
