dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
