You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
