Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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