This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
