I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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