if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
