Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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