i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
