So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
