Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
