You made me cry and you don't even care
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
