Taylor Swift is so right about you.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
