"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
