it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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