shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
