His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
