Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
