my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize