I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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