Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
